Post 100: It's been a minute

Ok, so it’s been a really long time since I actually wrote. Let me see if I can do any kind of update some justice.

I have started back working from March 30th. It is July 6th, and we are still WFH. I am starting to really dig into the WFH schedule and actually separating myself out with the work/life balance. I have things at work set up so then it is not as manual, and I have a handle on things so I know what is going on. There are still learnings, but I am over 3 months in, so that feels good.

I have also really been considering and trying to understand the whole concept of “spending time”. Because money was something I did not really have that much of and I had a shit-ton of bills, I found that once all that was paid off, I had a bit of a fear of spending money. Now that I have a savings and I know that I would be fine if I lost my job for over a year, I still have a bit of those fears. When the coronavirus hit, I saved some food and feared eating much at all, but that proved to be silly as there was still food available. However, at one point the produce was sparse and freaked me out a bit. Anywhooo….time was another thing that I started to fear a bit. Not the bit about growing old…but preserving my time. For some reason, I felt that things like sitting and reading a book through the afternoon was a waste of time for myself. And that is the key…FOR MYSELF. I see other folks doing it and thinking “how wonderful to just spend time reading.”….but never to myself. At some point recently, I can’t quite pinpoint the catalyst….I realized that it is totally ok to spend your time reading, or playing a game…or whatever. It is your time, you deserve it. You can’t fucking save the time to use later. Use it now. You want to sit and do fuck-all on a beach…do it…plenty of people do. Wanna read…go for it. Craft? Sure….you deserve to spend that time doing what YOU want.

So, I bought a Peloton bike and waiting for it to arrive in 11 days. :) I work out daily, even if it is just walking, but I am showing the fuck up. And that is all I care about right now.

Plus it’s hot as fuck.

Oh yeah, It’s been over a year since I have been back in the US. I don’t know how I feel about that.