Post 104: I am better at blogging than I am at twitter

It’s true. I was thinking about that today as I was walking around.

It is Labor Day weekend. I really want to go somewhere and hike around. But at this point, it’s not so much the corona virus shit, as it is that it’s about 110 degrees Fahrenheit outside the past few days. Last week it was super awesome in the mid and upper 70’s this weekend is shit. So, I am struggling a bit with the option and opportunity of traveling and hiking and shit.

I have a meeting with the Career Advisor tomorrow morning and have to write up my list of shit that I like. I am not sure how many times I am going to have to do this. Ultimately, it is just me needing to actually START and follow through. I can fucking follow through with the team and make sure everything gets done….but I get so bored with it when I am doing my own projects. I don’t want to particularly be an entrepreneur. I just don’t fully know what I want to do….but I do know that I need to have money to live and have some sort of security.

This past week, I exercised just a little, as I had stomach pains and the week before I worked out too much on the legs that they hurt the first half of the week even after stretching.

OH….I did also shave my head. I am not a fan of the shape of my head, but it feels so nice to not have to do anything to the hair.

We noticed that all of a sudden, my hibiscus started blooming. Just one….but it is a beautiful orange color. Total score on my end for this one!

Did some clean up this weekend. It was a 4-day weekend for me, because I took Friday off (got my head shaved then). …it’s Monday now… but did some cleaning and organizing. Part of it was the mail. But the cat decided I needed a break. Fair game, dude. Appreciate you looking out for me.

This one just sleeps next to the husband. Though I think she is awake more than my husband is.

I organized all my gym/workout clothing. I think I am getting to a point where I am comfortable doing a donation of clothing. Getting there. Honestly, as odd as it may sound, I think that the shaving head and organizing is me pairing down to functionality. Ah! I also need to make those disaster bag things. crap. Need to order some of that camping food. We have a shit-load of bags to use, so no need for that.

The litter robot came yesterday. Though the site says that it is still processing. Good times. I just took it out and the cat hides not where I think he will hide. Very clever, cat.

Finally, played with this face swap app. It basically just swaps the eyes, nose, and chin. I had no idea that my nose was that wide. Good to know.

Yeah, I was thinking about why I suck so hard at twitter. I think ultimately, I don’t care what people think of my opinions. I think about how often I speak up and give opinions. Or how important it is to voice my opinion. And, I just…..don’t….give…a shit. I mean, people that want their voice heard and want to do that, DO IT! Hells yeah. I will never tread on that. HOWEVER…those that want to voice an opinion and not ever be challenged….then get all upset when you are challenged, THAT I don’t understand. I don’t have to voice every fucking thought in my head. Much like beliefs. I don’t particularly want a conversation about my beliefs. I don’t care if other people do….my beliefs are for me. They make ME feel comfortable and allow me to walk through this life (not without its challenges…but it helps me). It’s not up for debate. And because it’s not up for debate, I do not voice it out there in the world. I don’t need to. I don’t care.

Much like losing weight. We all see before and after pics (I love those, by the way….love seeing people successful). People show those for several reasons…1. To keep track of the accomplishments or 2. social validation, ….and whole litany of reasons. I thought about it….and realized that for ME, I have given up on getting to a “goal” weight or getting to a certain size. What I DO want is a habit of enjoying exercise. Of ENJOYING food and understanding when I am full and eating when I really want to….not because I am bored. If I were to post a before and after (or in progress), then I know my brain is going to focus on the validation rather than my habit I am trying to form. I will not allow myself to be focused on loving myself by developing healthy habits. I KNOW this about myself. That is why I do not talk about it much at all. I may talk about it if someone asks a question…but I will rarely ever do a before and after. At least, not that I am aware of right now. I dunno, maybe there is a situation where I would…but I can’t think of it right now.

Ok….gonna eat breakfast….do so writing….then clean and then exercise. :) Full day of I don’t fucking know what.